Missing Him

Before I anything else, lemme first say that this post was inspired by this thetoolsman’s post on wednesday. Ehenn. Yes, I read the post and it got me thinking about this. If you don’t see how, well, that’s too bad. But those who know, know what LDRs can do to people. Especially with people putting up some kind of posts every Friday. *sigh* I digress.
Sha, without further delay, here it is.

I missed him so much. It seemed like we’d been apart forever. It was dark, and I couldn’t see him. I didn’t need to. I shut my eyes. I didn’t need the light. I could feel him.

I could feel his hands on my skin, groping and scratching. His hot breath on my neck. His tongue, tracing lines along my flesh. I shivered, clenched the sheet beneath me as my body rose to meet his. But my effort was in vain. I fell back on the bed. Continued to let him work.

His hands went everywhere they needed to be. They fondled my breasts, pinched my nipples into excitement, and groped my ass; gently massaging each butt cheek. I felt everything. Heat building in me with every touch. I just wished his body would be closer. I needed to hold him against me.

I felt his lips against my bare flesh. Felt him trail small bites across my neck. Felt him cover each nibble with a kiss. And then he moved lower. My nipple between his teeth. I moaned. His tongue danced on my nipple, pushing me further. He knew it was sensitive. He sucked gently, causing me so much pleasure, my body became restless.. Again, I tried to close the distance. Again, I failed.

I felt his hand move down my torso, his finger tracing an imaginary line on my skin. Goose pimples, I believe it’s called, is what he gave me. I could feel him, like I’d felt him a million times before. I knew, and I waited. His fingers found my hot spot, and began to play with it. I felt him flick my clit gently. Felt my juices flow in response. I just wished he’d come closer, but he wouldn’t.

I felt his fingers slip inside my warmth. I gasped and shuddered. It was a welcome invasion. He kept a thumb massaging the entrance as his fingers worked inside my sex pot. Slowly, they eased in and out. Teasing me. Pushing. Tempting. Making me want more. I rose my hips to meet his fingers’ gentle thrusts. I wanted him to know I needed more. He needed to be deeper. He obliged.

I felt his fingers go deeper into me. They picked up the pace, driving me into a frenzy. The immense pleasure exploded in my mind, and took over. His fingers kept thrusting. Faster. Deeper. Rubbing against my walls. I was getting closer. I could feel the pressure building inside of me. I longed for the release. His teeth clamped down on my nipple, shooting electricity up my spine. His fingers working faster still. I could feel them. Feel him. And then his thumb pushed down on my clit as he thrust his finger deep inside one last time.

I let out a soft scream. I felt my body arch off the bed as I exploded inside. I stayed suspended for what seemed like ages, before I finally collapsed on the bed, shaking. My heart racing, and my breathing unsteady. He’d leave me now. Let me catch my breath. Get some rest.

I opened my eyes. I still couldn’t see him. I reached over and turned on my night light. My eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness. He wasn’t here. I slipped my now sticky finger out and turned on my side. His picture stood on my night stand. I smiled as I stared at it, and slowly drifted off into sleep.

DISCLAIMER: The above story is not necessarily how the author always deals with her LDR. Times are difficult.

All comments, smileys, exclamations, etc are welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day.


Guilty Pleasures; Freakishly So

Today’s post is by another writer whose work I enjoy, @Phatiei (view personal blog here). Personally, I was excited when she sent this in, because it’s the kinda stuff I like to know about people.


William Shakespeare once wrote, ” But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes.”

I’ve always had this belief that if everyone were given a choice, an opportunity to choose between sadness and happiness. We’d all go for the latter cos let’s face it, no one wants the misery sadness has to offer. I couldn’t have been more off-track cos by assuming so, I had completely sidelined the fact that happiness is subjective. It means many different things to many different people. So in some twisted way, sadness can be actually be a person’s form of happiness. I’m probably not making much sense……….

Some of my friends are worried about me in relation to my write-ups. Lord bless them for caring :). Some are concerned with why I write sad/deep/dark stuff, Some believe I’m sad/troubled and Some are just convinced that I’ve never heard of “happy” writing…lol… Some of them even gave me suggestions of “happy” stuff to write about;

    1. Love: For some reason my take on it keeps changing, so I wouldn’t even know what to write even if I wanted to, which I don’t by the way. Basically, I don’t relate well with it so its out of the question.

    2. Family: Someone else’s perhaps but definitely not mine. It’s too personal and besides, dysfunction is best kept within the family. Good thing we’ve got a lot of closets for them.

    3. Friendship: Ah yes…. Friendship. Now this is to be cherished but writing about it just seems so bland to me. I have a poem about it somewhere, I should put it up one of these days.

    4. Gardens/Stars/moon/ Hair: Lol….. Maybe with time… Just maybe…

Writing about those stuff would never satisfy me, I’d much rather write about darkness and madness, complexity and illusions, sickness and death, filth and nightmares…. This is one of my guilty pleasures. The first poem I ever wrote was about ”fire”; how it makes me feel and how I envy it. Yes, I admit I’m a questionable sorta happy person and I’ve got some freaky tendencies as well. But let’s have it for the freakishly freaky freaks;

  • The serial killers: killing for pleasure
  • The fetishists: feet licking, eyeballs something-ing, (not entirely sure how that works) , getting peed on O_O
  • The necrophiles: from a corpse?? seriously?? So the billions of living people can’t do it for u??
  • The Sadists & Masochists (S&M): *singing* ”……but chains and whips excite me.” need I say more??
  • Anyway, we’ve all got our own demons, tucked safely within. Some people haven’t even realised it yet, Some are in denial, Some are filled with shame and Some wear it proudly *thumbs up* (sarcasm) ……. So people, give-in to your inner freak 😉


    So, that’s it. But seriously, everyone has that thing they’re secretly (or not-so-secretly) into, and I’d like to know what yours is. I, for instance, have a thing for people’s socks. So, If you’re so inclined, please feel free to use the comment box to tell us your *ahem* pleasures.

    Also, remember you can still nominate your fave bloggers for the NBAs. If you still haven’t, please follow the link. NOMINATE.

    Thanks for stopping by 🙂

    Yay, Stories!,

    Who’s Got The Poison? (Finale)

    So, this is it. The last part of the story. *insert thank you speech*. Hope you guys enjoyed reading the story as much as I loved writing it.
    New, slightly more experimental project next week. Remember: The end of something is the start of something else. Unless, of course, you don’t care. 🙁


    The sound of water droplets steadily falling from the tap and hitting the sink at timed intervals echoed in her mind as she sat slouched against the kitchen island. The darkness surrounded her, intensifying her senses. She could hear the cars driving past on the street outside, busy people returning home to their families; smell the roast she’d slaved over for dinner, each individual seasoning coming alive in her mind; and she could feel a chill in the air, in spite of the fact that every window was shut. She sat there, immobile, taking it all in. Allowing each new blind perception excite every crevice of her brain.

    She sat there, in the dark, with her eyes closed and opened her mind. Memories that had been repressed and locked away in the darkness came flooding back. And with those memories, came the accompanying emotions. The pain. The fear. The betrayal. The hunger…… Breathe. She reminded herself. You have to breathe. She inhaled, and let the memories take over.

    She was seated on a rock by the road, surrounded by trees and weeds that hid her from anyone’s sight. She’d been standing earlier on, but the backpack she carried, the backpack that contained all she would need, had begun to weigh her down. He went by this route every night. She knew. She had to see him. In order to see him, she had to wait. Wait she would.

    The insects in the dark talked to her while she waited. They seemed to be asking, begging her to leave. To just get up and go. She tried to block out the sounds, but the chirping rose to deafening proportions. She couldn’t leave. Wouldn’t. Not until she got what she came for. She heard footsteps coming up the road. She knew it was him, he’d always gone jogging at this time. She waited for him to get closer. He would have his earphones plugged in, so he wouldn’t hear her. He got closer, and she stepped out of the shadows. He had all of five seconds to see her and react. Not enough. She hit him over the head with a plank and knocked him out.

    After dragging his unconscious body deep into the surrounding wood area, she bound his now bruised body to a tree with a rope from her bag, gagged him and sat on the floor in front of him, playing with the last tool from her bag. She would wait for him to wake. He stirred and opened his eyes. As she walked up to him and looked into those eyes, the eyes of a man she’d once loved wholeheartedly, rage took over. Her mind clouded over, her vision became blurred, and, for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, she lost control of her body. When her mind cleared, she stood panting in front of Ifeanyi’s lifeless body. Slumped against the tree, blood and stab wounds all over.

    The wind outside rattled the windows violently, dragging her back to the present. She heard the crashes of thunder, the kitchen was briefly illuminated as a bolt of lightening flashed across the sky. Temi, who had always been frightened by the sound of thunder, wasn’t fazed. She still sat there, not moving. Absorbing. All the impending rain did was distract her momentarily, before forcing her mind to go on another trip. Taking her back to that night….

    The rain drops pelted her as she sat by the wall behind the club, next to the trash cans, playing with her toy. She didn’t care that she was getting soaked. Didn’t care that she could get very ill from such exposure. She shuddered when she heard the rumbling of the thunder, but she stayed. For some reason, this was the sanctuary she desperately needed right now. She had to fight the urge. Couldn’t give in.

    The back door of the club opened and a raincoat-clad figure stepped out, dragging two huge dustbin bags along with it. A crack of lightening lit up the sky, and she saw a face. A face she recognised. Deborah. The waitress that was constantly flirting with Kemi. She stared at her. Deborah’s lips were moving, but she couldn’t hear anything that was being said. Images of Deborah and Kemi together, happy, briefly flashed through her mind, and then blackness.

    When she came to, she dragged the mangled body closer to the trash cans and ran.

    She continued to sit there a while longer, more memories flooding her mind. Thunder again. She opened her eyes and stared into the darkness. She could here the soft dripping sounds on either side of her. She sighed. Almost time.

    She rose slowly from the floor and walked to the sink. Her toy lay there, still drenched in the warm liquid. It had a way of calling to her. She picked it up and walked slowly back to the kitchen island. The dinner she’d prepared for them was still on the table. It was cold now. Their plates were almost half empty, but hers remained untouched. She walked round to the other side of the island, slowly trailing her toy along the surface.

    Lightening lit up the room once more, and she saw the lifeless bodies that sat slumped on the chairs, fresh blood still dripping. She stood between them, thinking about that night. The night she’d watched the two people she loved betray her. The images were all too clear, the sounds unbearable piercing. She’d watched, from a crack in the door, as her boyfriend took what he so desperately needed from her bestfriend, and as her bestfriend, for whom she’d to anything to please, had offered and given so willingly.

    She’d bided her time. Pretended it was all okay. That she didn’t know. They’d done it again several more times. The bastards. She’d let them go on. Her time was near. Let them keep insulting her intelligence by carrying on like they disliked each other in her presence. And so, she’d prepared this dinner. This wonderful meal, unknown to them, had the liver and ovaries of the Fugu incorporated into it.

    They’d eaten, and she’d sat and watched. “Are you okay?” Kemi had asked. “You’re not eating.” She’d merely laughed in her soul and nodded. And then the poison started to act. Tony and Kemi sat paralysed on their chairs. This what she wanted; for them to be fully conscious, but unable to stop her. She started with Kemi. She’d made him watch as she cut her face, destroying that beauty the men loved so much, and then ended her with several stabs to the heart. For the one she loved, she was more merciful. She didn’t want him to suffer as much. She loved him. And she told him so as she held his head back and slashed his neck.

    Now, she felt empty. Alone. She needed them. She loved them. She hoisted herself unto the island and laid on it. She’d be with them again. I’m coming.. She raised the knife above her body. Thunder. More lightening. She drove the knife into her stomach. She’d lay there and wait. It wouldn’t be long. She needed to tell them how sorry she was. They could work it out. They’d find a way. It wasn’t too late. I’m coming.


    What Nobody Knows

    Hello :). So, this isn’t what was supposed to go up today. I know. Unfortunately, the people upstairs are experiencing technical difficulties and will not be able to deliver this week.

    This is just a little something to compensate. It’s the latest of my healing exercises (don’t ask), and I thought to share.

    Feel free to use the comment boxes to leave your thoughts. Once again, my sincerest apologies.

    Dead. Cold. Lifeless
    Empty. Without feeling.
    Tired of struggling.
    Willing to give in.

    Alone. Unwanted. Unloved.
    Different. Without a friend
    No one to care or defend
    Desperately seeking the end

    Sick. Tired. Unsure.
    Weak. Can’t take much more
    Behind a locked door.
    Almost time to let it all pour

    Dark. Silent. Peace.
    Fading. Finally letting it go.
    Soon, someone would show.
    Too bad they didn’t know.

    Time. Contentment. Release.
    Gone. A slowly accomplished mission
    No more unwanted tension
    They should have paid attention.

    Yay, Stories!,

    Say “Hello” To Goodbye

    This is a story that’s been playing around in my head for weeks. Initially, I wasn’t quite sure how to get it out. And then, this came to me *whooosh*. Please leave your thoughts in the comment box. Thanks much


    Even when he’d hugged me, I knew.
    It wouldn’t be the same again. It couldn’t.

    It didn’t matter how much I wanted it.
    How long I’d craved it.
    My patience, my care, my emotions.
    Every bit of hope. Every beautiful fantasy.
    Shattered. The fragments ground into dust.
    Lost. Like ashes scattered over a cliff.

    I stared at my phone, that accursed device.
    The message within – “there’s someone else”
    It hit me again. The pain and the hurt. The anger.
    I wished I could hurt it back. Make it suffer.
    Damn!! The tears I have to hide.
    Like the feelings I’d locked away and hidden from sight.

    His back turned to me, I watched him intently. Bent over his work.
    Oblivious to my emotional rollercoaster
    I shouldn’t be here. I knew. He knew.
    But I was. I’d come because he’d asked me to.
    Because I still lusted.
    Yes. I did, even though I knew I shouldn’t.

    What I desperately wanted to hear, he hadn’t said.
    No empty promises, no false hope.
    Leave or stay.
    A decision. He’d left it to me to make.
    I’d be his for as long as he wanted. But he wouldn’t be mine.
    I’d get the scraps. But I’d be happy.
    Wouldn’t I?

    Me. Him. Her.
    I couldn’t. I wanted to. I almost did. But I couldn’t.
    He didn’t look up as I got dressed. I didn’t see him turn as I shut the door gently.
    My echoing footsteps in the empty hallway taunt me.
    I ignore them. I have to. I must.
    I’d never completely leave him.
    Couldn’t forget it all
    PING!!! His “Goodbye” said it all.

    Special Features, Yay, Stories!,

    Shower Hour

    Hello. 🙂 Honestly, I don’t even know how to introduce today’s post. But, it was written by @terdoh sha. You can visit his personal blog here if you so desire. I won’t bore you with details of how I begged him before he finally wrote it. It’s finally here, so please read and enjoy 🙂

    Also, if you haven’t already, please go to the nominations page of the Nigerian Blog Awards and nominate your favourite blogs. Remember to fill in the blog URLs and NOT the names. For a list of blogs you should nominate (for those who aren’t sure) you can hit me up here, or on twitter. Much thanks.

    And now, without further delay, your feature presentation……*dramatic music*

    Ssup y’all. Yes, yes I know, I was supposed to be on the Princess Diaries series…sorry, the Diary of Snow White series, but a project-defense-exam combo is defined as a female dog’s female dog. Sad. I’m really sorry for that. Apology accepted? Yes? No? No? Why na? Abeg na? Anyway, even though I’m in the middle of exams right now, I
    feel more than obligated to post something on this awesome blog…I mean, if my name can be etched somewhere as an author on this page, it’s an honor. But my head was crammed with formulas and definitions, and blog ideas were just chilling at the bottom of my brain’s foundation.

    I wanted to post something, but I didn’t know whether I wanted to be deep (almost impossible, I’m as shallow as a bathtub, and I’m only 14 years old), or to be funny (also impossible, my funny bone broke while I was trying to break dance to impress one Dammy girl like that) or to be a cynical critic (which wouldn’t have been too hard, Wizkid’s “album” is out and full of gbagauns, and Vic O is still breathing), or to just speak my mind and say an opinion…I was really blank!

    But as fate would have it, I was masturba…*ahem* I was taking a shower one morning when I remembered an incident that happened between me and one of my many (five and a half) exes. So I thought; “good fuckity fuck, I should blog about that!” Should I? Should I?? Yes?
    Okay. 🙂
    First of all, there will be no questions asked after I am done. Second, for the purpose of the post, let’s call her Ada? Yeah…Ada is a good name. Okay, so Ada and I dated for over 5 years. Yup…striker like me stayed married for 5 years. Yes, we had some rough times. Even though her best friend gave me my first (couple) kiss(es), and my best friend saw her uhm…naked a couple quadruple times and used to brag about it to me, we stuck together sha. But they say all good things come to an end…(which is prolly why the relationship took so long to plumet). But the post isn’t about my relationship with Ada. It’s about an incident that happened AFTER we broke up.

    I remember something Chris Rock said about men’s lies vs women’s lies. Men lie more often, but women lie about serious shit! A man lie is: “I was at Tony’s house”. A woman lie is “Yes, the baby is yours”. I could only agree less. On the day Ada broke up with me (for reason’s best known to God, her and wikileaks), she kissed me, and when I escorted her out, she turned back at the gate and said “Do you have a twin that’s less of an asshole?” and then left without allowing me to say one of my witty comebacks. After that, when she got home, she sent me an IM that said
    “we can still be friends though”. That bit pissed me off…that’s like having a peeing zone in a swimming pool…or a smoking zone in an elevator. It can’t work! But she stuck like flies on packaged shit. And I was used to having her around even though she broke my heart like a world record.
    About a year after we broke up, I’m in school when she sends a message to me and the convo was something like this;
    Ada: Baby, you’ve abandoned me like a sinking ship. It’s not fair oh! I thought you loved me.
    Me: I did…I think.
    Ada: You still do jor! I have something to tell you.
    Me: What is it?
    Ada: I don’t feel too good. My tummy hurts and…
    Me: And…?
    Ada: Terdoh, I think I’m pregnant.
    Me: Congratulations! When are you due?
    Ada: Terdoh! I’m not joking! And you know the baby is yours!
    *In the back of my head, Chris Rock goes “I told ya niokar! I told ya!”* I thought back to the last time we had sex…uhm! Wait! We never had sex!
    Me: Ehm…but we broke up OVER a year ago. Besides, you always stopped me whenever I wanted to kpansh. Kpoxing never was “your thing”. Are you having PMS again? Which time all dis one start?
    Ada: I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. And I’m not about to have a baby! I’m only in 300 level. I’m not about to ruin my future for you. I’m getting rid of it. The doctor said it would cost 80 grand.
    Me: You’re broke again aren’t you? Or you want to buy iPad 2?
    Ada: Your wise cracks aren’t getting you off the hook. Are you helping me get rid of it?
    Me: Uhm, lemme think about it for one minute.
    One minute later, I sent;
    “No. I am not helping you get (rid of) it. Whatever it is…next time you’re broke, call a janitor or a repair man. Oh, and I love you.
    *sinister smile*” (That emoticon cannot be displayed here, wordpress wouldn’t understand)
    That was the last I heard of Ada.

    So while I was *cough* showering, I started thinking; what if she had
    allowed me peep into the “bird’s eye” when we were dating? What if she gave me that Becky? Would I have paid that 80 grand for those punani penetration tutorials?
    The answer is no.
    Thou shall not carry last! (13th commandment after Thou shall not listen to Jim Iyke-12th and Thou shall not watch Beyonce’s “Girls” video-11th)
    I’m just grateful that things worked out the way they did. Who wants to be a father at 14?

    Author’s note: Moral of the story; Shower more. It prevents babies, and gives you blog ideas. 😀

    Yay, Stories!,

    Who’s Got The Poison? (Part 6)

    Tony lay there, on the floor of the living room, a pandemonium of emotions and thoughts coursing through his mind and soul. Each occurring feeling rivalled by it’s direct opposite in a battle for dominance. He needed to clear his head of all the clashing thoughts, but how could he? He knew doing so wouldn’t be possible. At least not now. Not while it was all still so fresh.

    And, just like that, the images cam rushing back – his body and hers, tangled in intense sex. He closed his eyes and let it all sink in again. The way her moans echoed his pleasure, the bites and scratches that egged him on, the grinding of their bodies, that gloriously moist warmth, the pure ecstasy of it all. Breathe, Tony. Calm down.But he couldn’t. Because, all he had allowed to take over his mind was building up to a climax. In that one moment, he’d both exploded with pleasure, and had reality crash down on him.

    And then, the guilt began to well up inside him. Burning at the depth of his being. Gnawing at his conscience. He shouldn’t have. But she came on to me. Didn’t she? Memories came back in fractions. How she’d walked into the sitting room wearing nothing but her underwear. She’d laughed at his discomfort, and plopped down next to him. Teased him with her hands, running her fingers up his arm, prattling on about something he couldn’t quite remember. Her hand had come to rest on his lap, dangerously close to his groin, several times, sending shock waves through his body. He could barely remember what had led up to that kiss. He could only watch the replay in his mind’s eye. The kiss that had led up to all this. More blanks in his memory. The scenes replayed just like snapshots. She on top of him. Undressing him. Pleasing him with her hands and mouth, clearing every shadow of hesitation lurking around. He’d wanted her. Desperately. More flashes. Thrusting into her warmth, her muted moans of acceptance driving him over the edge sooner than he’d hoped.

    In retrospect, he should have let it end there. Should have gathered himself and walked away. Walked away? He should have taken to his heels. But the hunger had festered in his soul, and, now that he’d had a taste, he had to have more. He’d feasted on her. Made up for every lack he had endured in the past months. He was as ravenous as a mythical creature released once every century or so to feed. And, just as in the case of such a creature, one measly offering of sacrifice wouldn’t be enough to please him. His primal male instincts had kicked in and blocked all reasoning. He would have her. He would have all of her. And, with this resolve, he had broken down every resistance she’d tried to put up. She was his.

    More guilt. How could something that had been so amazingly awesome make him feel like a first class bastard? If he were to be completely honest, what he’d done had shot him way above the station of ‘bastard’. He was much worse. He felt undeserving. Unworthy. He cursed the insomnia that had kept him up so late and placed him at the scene, setting him up for this act of wanton cruelty and selfishness. What logical explanation did he have to offer should the time come? He’d acted without thinking, let his inner basic animal take over. Wrong move. He was a man, dammit!! He should have more restraint. He cursed inwardly. There was a pit in his bowels, and it was expand with each passing second. Mostly because he realised he only regretted how it had happened, but didn’t feel the least bit unhappy that it had. In fact… he thought to himself.

    Tony tapped the body that had snuggled into his. “Babe, are you okay.”
    Her response was sleepy “Yeah.”
    “Roll over.”
    “I need you to roll over. Lie on your back.” She did as she was told, and he proceeded to slip a finger into her. A moan escaped her throat. “You like that?” She nodded. “Good. I’m going to take care of you. You have to be really quiet though. Don’t want her” he jerked his head towards the bedroom door “to wake up. Okay?” She nodded again. “Good.” And then he took one of her nipples in his mouth.
    As she revelled in all the pleasure she was getting, she knew they’d both begun something that would be difficult to back away from. She sighed. And to think I didn’t really like him to begin with. As her body received hit-after-hit of immeasurable pleasure and satisfaction, Kemi stole a glance towards Temi’s room door. This won’t go over well if she ever finds out..

    Behind a door in a dark room, Temi sat and cried silent tears.

    Yay, Stories!,

    The Diary of Snow White III

    Today’s post was written by both I and the lovely @nwaokpoechi. Please enjoy.
    Diary, honestly, right now I’m freaked out about everything that’s happened. Yes, EVERYTHING. If I hadn’t already pinched myself several times, I’d think I was dreaming. Really. I don’t know how things got this out of control. Okay, maybe I do. But c’mon! Who would’ve seen it coming?

    Okay, I should’ve probably known something was up when I noticed that weird guy that was always following me. I just figured he was a stalker fan, you know? I am famous now, after all. And he’s a guy. Guys adore my little projects. Even those who’d never let on that they do.

    In all honesty, I wasn’t quite sure about doing any of this. But it was an opportunity! Plus, I think there’s a saying about looking a gift in the mouth?(How do you even do that? Gifts come in boxes and boxes don’t have mouths). Anyhu, when Donald told me what the Indie movie I was getting a part in really was, I have to admit I wasn’t very sure. I really didn’t think this was how I was going to start my career. But when you have lemons, trying to make apple juice is just well…out of the question. But he and his house mates convinced me I wouldn’t be doing anything different from what I already did with them. Also, there’d be hot guys who’d take really good care of me, and the pay was…well, let’s just say my new mercedes and boobs didn’t pay for themselves..

    Everything was fine, diary. We were happy again. But She just couldn’t let us be! Who? Dana!! I don’t understand why she couldn’t just leave well enough alone! I’d already let her have daddy and the house and my old life. She was the one who hires that creepy guy to follow me around. Like, what the actual fuck?! And then she just shows up at the house one day, trying to get me to go back with her. Spewing all sorts of lies about daddy being dead. I know daddy isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. So, I asked her to leave, and offered to walk her to her car. Would you believe it? When we got outside, the crazy bitch started pulling me and trying to force me into the car. I managed to get free, and ran. Unfortunately, I kept looking back to see how far back she was and I ran into a pole. I blacked out after that.

    When I came to, there was a totally gorgeous, dark-skinned guy leaning over me. I took to him instantly. His name’s Duro, and he saw how I’d hit my head and fallen and came to help. He didn’t see Dana though. I caught up with the Donald and the guys later though (Duro took me to go get checked at the hospital), and they told me they’d gotten home just as she was about to drive off. They suggested I file a police report against her for attempted kidnapping, so I did. Also, I got a restraining order.

    So, my life’s not been exactly smooth. But it all worked out. Duro and I are getting married. He’s not always gonna be around, because he travels a lot, but that’s okay. I really am lucky he happened to be passing by that day. Plus, did I mention he’s filthy rich? Oh, yeah! SCORE!!! 🙂

    As I write this, I’m packing my bags. The wedding is in two days and after that, the honeymoon. Maybe Paris, or Maui or Bali. We’re not sure yet. The best news is that he bought me a house in the country. It’s a large estate and it’s really quiet. And exactly the way I like it – complete with maids, servants, butlers and chauffeurs. It’s even better than what I had at home. Honestly, I’m super glad I bagged this one. Just between you and me, that whole acting thing wasn’t really my forte. Finally, I get to leave Hollywood. That life is not for me. I knew I was always meant to be a princess.


    THE END.


    Special Features,

    Weight Loss Diary – Entry 1

    Dee now :|

    Dee now 😐

    Hello again 🙂 How y’all doing? Today, I’d like you to meet my darling, Dee (I’m the only one allowed to call her that. Her name is Deola. Respect yourselves). Anyhu, she’s joined the ranks of those who now want to lose weight. I, think she’s pretty decent, but her mind’s made up.

    So, because I love her so much (and wasn’t threatened at all), we decided to give her a space here to write on her progress monthly. She’s a lovely writer, and one of my top supporters. I hope you guys enjoy her pieces.
    I am fat.
    There. That’s it.
    Well, there is more to me than my huge thunder thighs and my “Mother
    Theresa” arms. I’m pretty and smart and all those things. But nobody
    looks at that anymore. It’s either you’re a size zero or you’re not
    worth it.
    I am worth it.
    But I haven’t been feeling like that these past few months. Now, I
    can’t find clothes to wear because all the clothes I have don’t fit me
    anymore. They are too tight or they make my stomach look big. I
    haven’t been wearing jeans for the past 3 months all because the ones
    I have don’t fit me anymore. I have been reduced to wearing torn
    jeggings and stretched out leggings just to feel good. But in the end,
    I still feel like crap.
    I used to have a weight loss problem before in high school. I had
    anorexia. When I came from Saudi Arabia to Nigeria, I was very very
    fat. My new classmates made so much fun of me that I refused to eat
    for about a week. I had to be taken to the hospital when I fainted one
    day. That wasn’t even the main one. I remember when I senior called me
    ‘a fat piece of shit’ in front of all my classmates, boys and girls
    included. Fast forward a year later, and I was suffering from a peptic
    ulcer and malnutrition. It was so bad, I was pulled out of school for a month.
    When I got to university, I changed my eating habits. I slowly gained weight
    and I looked healthier. I gained enough weight so as to remain healthy,
    but not too much to become fat again. I ended up with a body that was
    a size 2 up and a size 6 down. I’m not bragging but I had a slamming
    body. My ex-boyfriend used to call me “curves”. Boys (and some girls) used to stare at
    me when I walked into a room. My roomies hated me because everything
    used to fit me so well. I would take clothes from them and wear and in
    the end they had to give me because it looked better on me. On a scale
    of one to ten, I was a smoking hot 20.
    Now, I’m a size 12 all round. No fat ass and slim waist. I used to be
    a figure 8 but now I’m 1. The weight came slowly and I didn’t notice
    it until my boyfriend said “Your ass is getting bigger.” Honestly, I
    didn’t mind that but when I saw that my favorite pair of jeans
    couldn’t fit me, I knew I had a problem.
    I gained all this weight by actually sitting down and not moving. I
    never walked around anymore, I just took the bus. I never swam
    anymore; I just got into the pool and splashed water around. Oh, and
    lemme not forget all those afternoons of sitting down and eating food
    and doing absolutely nothing.
    I am not losing weight because I want to fit in. I’m losing weight
    because I was to feel and look good. I am not happy with the way I
    have gained weight and I wasn’t to change that. So starting this week,
    I will diet and exercise every day until I lose all those pound s I
    gained. I want to be able to walk around in a pair of jeans and not be
    scared it will rip when I sit down. I want to feel good again.
    So I have started this journey to lose the pounds that plague me.

    Current weight -176 pounds
    Goal – 80 pounds

    So, there it is. And, if you want to read more from her, you can visit here blog on Blogspot or the much newer one on WordPress. It wouldn’t hurt to follow her on twitter either (@d3ola)

    Hoe-kay! Tharris all! I believe I’ve taken enough of your time. You may now carry on with your lives. But, feel free to leave opinions, tips, etc with the comment boxes below.


    The Dee we're aiming for :)

    The Dee we’re aiming for 🙂

    Yay, Stories!,

    Who’s Got The Poison? (Part 5)

    “You guys haven’t had sex?!” Everyone at the restaurant paused to stare at Kemi, but she wasn’t phased. She stared at Temi, seated across from her and trying furiously to hide her face with her hair, in utter bewilderment. “How can you not have shagged him already?! What do the two of you do locked up in your room all the time? Bible study?!”
    Temi sank lower in her seat. “Kemi, hush now. Is it because I told you?”
    “I’m talking normally now! Ahn ahn! Is it my fault these people can’t mind their business?” She waved her hand passively at a group seated at a nearby table. “Don’t change the topic. Oya. Explain. All those nights at his place. Nothing? Why?” She paused and sat up in her chair. ” Is he gay?!” This last question elicited more stares from diners at the restaurant.

    “Of course not, Kemi! Don’t be ridiculous.” At this point, Temi was wishing the ground would open up and swallow her. What possessed me to tell this girl about me and Tony now? Ehn? She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair “It’s not that big a deal. I don’t know why I even brought it up. Let’s just forget it.” She knew her attempts at escape were feeble and pointless. Kemi wouldn’t let go of this. She already doesn’t approve of him, and now I had to open my big mouth and tell her this. I will never hear the end of it. She took a sip from her glass of juice and stared at Kemi, who was still staring at her like she’d gone mad.

    “But I don’t understand, Temi.” Kemi resumed in a much calmer tone. ” If he’s not gay, why won’t he have sex with you?”
    “It’s not him, it’s me. Don’t look at me like that. I’m being serious.” Temi paused, expecting Kemi to interrupt. Nothing. “I don’t want to rush things with him. You know how easy it is to…”
    Kemi cut her off “Temitope,” she only ever called her by her full name when she was being really serious. “is this about Ifeanyi?.”
    Temi was silent. She’d hoped this wouldn’t come up, but known it couldn’t be avoided.

    Ifeanyi. Her most recent ex. The man that had possessed her heart and soul for three years. She remembered the first time she’d met him. She was fresh out of the university and fulfilling her national service obligations, serving as one of the assistants at a PR firm. He was a handsome, smooth-talking ladies man. He didn’t work at the same firm she did, but he frequented their hallways on the regular. He was an image consultant for several large companies, and thus, brought in plenty of clients. She’d fallen for him long before he approached her, spewing compliments that made her heart flutter, and her head dizzy from sheer joy.

    She became quite taken with him. His visits to her office were mostly focused on her presence there, even when he had business to discuss with the big guns, he’d sneak out of meetings to plant kisses on her forehead or lips. But the times spent outside the office were the ones she’d cherished the most. She was just starting to truly experience life, and he’d shown her how to open herself up to the special blend of euphoria life had to offer. Well, life with him at least. She didn’t refuse when he asked her to move in with him. In fact, she liked to think she orchestrated the whole thing. Temi was purely and wholly happy. She had a great job, which she loved, and a man who loved her. Yes, life was beautiful as far as she was concerned.

    And then the storm rolled in. Sometimes, Temi would sit and wish she’d seen the signs, or heard a forecast, but, truth be told, they’d all been there. Flashing lights and sounding warnings as clear and loud as the ones at a train track. And as much as she would love to believe she’d been tied to the tracks, powerless to escape the impending collision, that was far from the case. She had refused to see. Refused to hear. Temi had built a protective wall of fantasy around her seemingly blissful relationship. His reluctance to settle down, she readily understood and explained off to her friends as “too soon.”; the late nights, she convinced herself were spent nowhere but the office; the business trips she couldn’t go on because well, they were business trips; and having to move into another room whenever his sister came to visit because she had a mental disorder and was very possessive of her older brother. In fact, his concern for his sister’s fragile condition only deepened her love for him. So much so, she didn’t mind wiping away every trace of her presence in his bedroom whenever his sister, Adaora, was coming into town, so she could be comfortable there. On the surface, it was all okay.

    Three years down the line, and two abortions later, she’d gotten home to find her possessions neatly arranged by the compound gate. An envelope placed on top the pile of boxes, and held down with a medium-sized rock. At that moment fear and confusion flooded her brain. A part of her new what was about to happen, but her wall, though beginning to crack, stood still, hindering realisation from taking root. She reached for the envelope tentatively, and opened it.

    “Temi, I’m sorry this is happening like this. But, as you must know by now, we can’t go on. Adaora and I are married now. It would be unfair for me to keep living with someone else. She’s moving in today. Please endeavouur to have your things cleared before she arrives. I hope the enclosed cheque covers any inconvenience. Ifeanyi.”

    As she read, the echoes of her crumbling wall resounded in her head. She remembered feeling like her soul had been wrenched out of her, leaving her hollow. Calm and cool on the surface, destroyed on the inside, she’d taken the cheque out of the envelope, ripped up the letter, flagged down a cab to Kemi’s place, and never looked back.

    Now, here she sat at a crowded restaurant, two years later, silent tears slowly streaming down her face as she remembered. She felt Kemi’s warm palm on her hand and looked up from the table cloth. “I’m okay, Kemi.” Her voice was shaky. Barely sudible.
    Kemi felt miserable. This was her fault, afterall. She’d hurt her friend while pursuing her own selfish goal. A goal she hadn’t even achieved. “It’s okay, Temi. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
    “I just son’t want to be stupid like that again, Kemi.” Her eyes were red and swollen now. “I’m not sure if I’d be able to survive it.”
    Kemi gazed into the eyes of her bestfriend, and knew that she’d meant what she’d said. “I know, Temi.”